Just like road rage, or quick anger to your nagging mom, most of the negative emotions come from an auto-pilot system as reactions. We are not aware of it and think our reactions are what we are really feeling and try to deal with them.
However, as they are only reactions, unless we take care of the root cause, the seed will continue to shoot out reactions. It is when (1) we understand that the road rage comes from the strong desire to win, and, (2) can identify the source of this need, the root cause, we will be free from being triggered.
I used to suffer from motion sickness. I got sick when my kindergarten teacher first put me on a swing. I threw up whenever my parents took me out on a train, or a bus. As an adult, I had to take medicine before boarding a vehicle, a boat or a plane. Pills were my travel companion.
One day in my early thirties when I was consciously working on myself, a thought abruptly dawned on me: Well, the plane will never take you out of the planet; you may land somewhere strange but it will be on the earth! You will still be on this earth! If so, I can manage to survive.
Hmm?! … OH!…. That’s why! Then I laughed very hard.
I realized what had actually made me sick was the fear of being taken to an unknown place or of having to deal with untrusted people. “I may not survive” was behind it. It was not the motion! But because I was focused on taking care of the unpleasant symptom, it kept following me.
I knew, at this moment, that I would never get sick again on board. So I decided to say good bye to my companion pills. Since that day, I have been a “solo” traveller. Unless on a very winding road, roaring sea or with a terrible driver, I am fine. I am no more over-sensitive.
Sometime later I came to a deeper understanding about the conditions that had created the symptom. I hated the kindergarten teacher. I was always afraid of my parents and felt uneasy being with them. I could not trust them. I was feeling my survival at stake.
Then an exception surfaced as if backing up my realization; I never got sick on the school bus, even when I needed medicine for our excursion on a chartered bus. I loved the school as well as the driver, and I didn’t meet any strangers on my way.
I could have become symptom-free quicker if I had picked up this important clue sooner. But the unpleasant manifestation of the root cause was so strong it captivated all my attention, making me overlook the clear sign.
And, as I focused on my symptom more, the stronger and more persistent it became.
However, a big shift did happen once I identified the root cause. Even to a “possibly life-long ailment.”