Maktub: A Journey Home

Excerpts from Maktub: A Journey Home

From Chap. 5  “Guide”

I will not ask for forgiveness.  I will not try to erase myself and thereby extinguish another life.  I will not look away or try to escape from the darkness.  Instead, I will live on in it.  I will embrace it in my bosom.  I will taste it to the fullest.  Because it is the only thing the life I’d taken left me.  That must be the only thing that I can do for it.  Never forget that the life was given and I took it.  I ended it out of my inability to love.  I will learn to love.  I will find myself and I will learn to love.

It seemed like a horrible idea, though.  I had just discovered that “I” was nothing.  The physical I, my flesh, seemed to have been made up only of dust and lust, while inside there was nothing.   What was worse, I was a cursed sinner.  I was impotent to love.  There seemed no hope for anything.  There seemed no other way, either.

From Chap. 17  “Upheavals”

The train got to the airport.  It would be my final few hours in Japan.  I was alone with a suitcase, half of which was packed with materials for Maktub.  In my hand was a copy, too.  Awe and gratitude overflowed from my heart, as I saw I’d been guided by Maktub all the way to that moment.  First, God granted the content, for me to live; next, He told me to write it down, which was a profound healing.  Then, the clearance!  I was just about to leave behind the last remaining piece – my country.  At age 50, past the halfway point in life, I was also anxious about the unrevealed chapters which were soon to unfold themselves.  I prayed for Divine blessings.

From Chap. 23  “Sunrise”

Oh all the game players in my life are here! Emotions swirled around.  Pleasant as well as unpleasant.

The next moment, time was gone!  In the timelessness, I found myself in warm, bright Light.  Absolute, Limitless, Boundless LIGHT that filled the entire Universe and beyond. 

ALL THERE IS.

Struck by overpowering awe, instantly I prostrated to IT; the only possible, automatic, and natural act a human being could perform – when in touch with Absolute Majestic Authority, Power and Warmness.

Then I was smitten by even bigger awe and amazement.  I was bowing down to the ABSOLUTE but I was also the ONE being bowed down to!!!  At the same time!  I was the subject and I was the object.  No this or that.  I was not in front of LIGHT, nor part of LIGHT.  I was LIGHT ITSELF.